Based on the lj interests lists of those who share my more unusual interests, the interests suggestion meme thinks I might be interested in
1. reading score: 36
2. music score: 32
3. love score: 25
4. movies score: 19
5. art score: 19
6. photography score: 19
7. cooking score: 18
8. chocolate score: 18
9. dancing score: 17
10. singing score: 17
11. friends score: 17
12. cats score: 15
13. rain score: 15
14. philosophy score: 15
15. faeries score: 14
16. honesty score: 14
17. fantasy score: 14
18. creativity score: 13
19. dreaming score: 12
20. hiking score: 12
coded by ixwin
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Your result for Tarot Card Guide Test...
YOUR GUIDES ARE THE LOVERS
"In dreams and in love there are no impossibilities."--- Janos Arnay
Originally, this card was called just LOVE. And that's actually more apt than "Lovers." Love follows in the sequence of growth and maturity. LOVE is a force that makes you choose and decide for reasons you often can't understand; it makes you surrender control to a higher power. And that is what this card is all about. Finding something or someone who is so much a part of yourself, so perfectly attuned to you and you to them, that you cannot, dare not resist. In interpretation, the card indicates that the seeker has come across, or will come across a person, career, challenge or thing that they will fall in love with. They will know instinctively that they must have this, even if it means diverging from their chosen path. No matter the difficulties, without it they will never be complete.
If the Lovers are your guide, you must be wary for sometimes in Love we are blind, and seek only to fulfill the needs and wants of that which we love. We can drown in work, in career, or in another person. We can lose sight of our own development because we become enthralled in the needs and wants of that which we love. Although this is not always a bad thing, it is something we must always take into consideration when seeking our own path to enlightenment.
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Your result for Which Chess Piece are You Test?...
The Queen's Knight
Congrats! Only 4-5% of the population score this!
The Queen’s Knight is armed with rose-colored glasses. The mundane comes to life and nature becomes expressive of spirit. The interesting thing about this Knight is the ability to switch from fantasy to reality. There are exceptions to the rule, but this is the type that may have had imaginary friends as a youngster. Their stuffed animals also were great companions. The Queen’s Knight will see the good in almost anyone or anything – but their depth of emotion can remain hidden even from themselves. Circumstances tend to reveal sudden responses.
Not all life is rosy and this Knight is not exempt from disappointment or frustration with humanity. They may feel incompetence when dealing with their own ethical values. Things aren’t simply white black, but a grand battle of Good versus Evil. Evil must be reckoned with but Good shall eventually win. It is not that they fight evil, but that they fight for the essence of moral good. Doing something good is quite satisfactory for them and indeed increases their happiness. It is when something is not reciprocated to them that they are saddened and disappointed by others. They learn that others aren’t as self-sacrificing.
The Queen's Knight is dominated by an inner world of intense feeling and deeply rooted ethics. They seek to form their life based on their views. They are highly curious of those around them so are readily accepting of others unless their values are being threatened. They promote insight and understanding amongst others and contribute well thought ideas. They however can be a bit too idealistic.
Paul got me the coolest new shoes yesterday.
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They have charms on them like my charm bracelet. He is the best. I truly adore him.
In other news we are doing very well. We are very much in love. I also have a hearing date for my Divorce, July 21st. I am very excited about that. I will finally be a free woman. Yay!!! I spoke with Dave (my soon to be Ex-husband) a couple of days ago. He never took the time to fill out his part of the divorce papers or anything. SO I asked him if he in fact wanted the divorce. He said his head was in a strange place. That doesn't help me any. I really want the Divorce. I have already moved on with my life. I am committed to another man. He is committed to another woman. The one he tossed me out for. He still has a big Ego. He says there are all these women in the chatroom that he and I met in, coming forward and confessing their love for him. I said good for him. All I want for him is happiness. And For him to give me my freedom. And My maiden name. Nothing more. I want to be released from the drama that is his life.
My life has improved 10 fold in the past 9 months. I am not contributing it all to Paul. However, I am contributing it to the environment that he provides for me. It is pretty much stress free. And definitely Drama free. Unless of course I cause the drama. I have certainly been known to do that. It's almost as though my illness is in remission. I know that's not possible. That it could rear it's ugly head at any moment. Yet I am learning ways to cope with and live with it. So as to nip it in the bud before it gets full blown. I am so blessed to have the groups and support system that I now have. I am doing my 60% plus.
Having said all that. This feels like a real day of independence for me. I have come a long way Baby. I'm not the same wide eyed naive little girl that stepped off that plane 9 months ago. I have changed and evolved in so many ways. I still see the world from a six-year-old's perspective in many ways. Yet I am also behaving and acting like the 42-year-old woman that I am. It's all very cool. I am finally enjoying my life for the first time. It's a fantastic feeling.
We have no real plans today. Paul wants to stay home all weekend. So we might try to see some fireworks from our Balcony. We neither one like large crowds or loud noises. So we are avoiding the fireworks and fourth celebration downtown. All the thriftstores in town are having 50% off sales today. I may go thriftshopping. And leave him here at home sleeping.
I really love my new shoes. They are going to take a little getting used to though. They have a leather thong rather than fabric. And they have a vamp heel, which I'm not used to as well. But I will adjust. They are way cool. I have already gotten 2 compliments on them since last night. YAY!!!
Well take care and Be safe this holiday.
Love and Hugs
Well I went to bed around 9:30 last night. And I woke up at 4:50 this morning. I woke up 3 times during the night to go to the bathroom. I feel pretty good this morning. I would have rather been up with Paul playing Scrabble or something. Yet I think I will be able to do this. I did have a harder time falling off to sleep than normal. But I was asleep within 10 minutes I would say. Where as I am usually asleep within 3-5 minutes. I am definitely willing to give this a try for a week. And report back on Thursday how well it works. Who knows what results I will see. I also took melatonin to help with sleeping. That makes me have pretty weird and vivid dreams. I dreamt of my first husband. It was like I was awake though. As though I was there, It was all very strange indeed. I might call his mom today. I have stayed in contacted with her all these years. I married him 24 years ago this July. It wasn't a sexual dream at all. Yet sex was implied. Very strange. I don't know what to make out of it other than it was simply a silly dream. Sometimes dreams are just that dreams.
So I plan on going to bed early every night this week. Last night Paul and I watched "Lost in Translation" and then I went directly to bed. We spent very little quality time together. I guess to most watching a movie together is quality time. I personally don't like television or movies, so I don't consider it Quality time. I am an odd little duckie I know. I prefer things where we are interacting with each other where we can share ideas and such.
Well I need to start my letter to Paul. I write him a letter every day before he leaves for work. It is a daily ritual. So I will Speak with you later.
It's Thursday, So that must mean it's group day. I arrived at group 15 minutes early. I arrive for all my appoinments 15 minutes early. So i sat there until 10:40 am before the Nurse who facilitates the group even comes in. Then other clients start to trickle in one by one. Then around 10:50 am the Dr. shows up. And the group gets started. By this time I am really irritated and growing angrier by the moment. I know that Christa the nurse Could tell. She said "I know we tell the New people to get here 15 minutes early, And then we don't enforce the rules". I know not everyone runs on the schedule be at your appointment 15 minutes early. But come on, at least the facilitators could be on time.
At least more people showed up this time. There were 6 clients and 2 facilitators. Last week there were 2 and 2. I liked the smaller ratio better. The dynamics of the larger group was nice though. More people to bounce ideas off of. Today's topic was sleep disturbance. One I could really use help with. I am getting on average 3-4 hours a night. So we discussed different options. My only real option is to go to bed earlier. I stay up until 1-2 am and then get up at 3-4 or 5 am. Some times I stay up all night. I told Christa that I don't want to go to bed between 9:30 and 11 pm. I feel like I will be missing out on so much. And I told her I felt like crying, just thinking about it. Yet I know that in the long run it is something I have to do for myself. For my mental Health, for my well being. It will take a long of discipline on my part. And a lot of understanding from Paul. Yet It is something I really must do. So I am going to do it. I want to feel better and not have constant mood swings. I want to be in control. Not my Illness. SO that is pretty much where I am today.
Greetings to all who enter here. My name is Teresa. I am Attempting to Start my life over at 41. It is going to be a rigorous and laborious journey. Yet one I embrace with my whole being. I am bi-polar, therefore my life is a series of roller-coaster ups and downs. I am also attempting to Control my moods. I have Begun attending A group for those of us that are blessed with this mental illness. It meets every Thursday. Thursday is my favorite Day of the Week. I was born on a Thursday. Maybe that's why I feel such an affinity with it. I love to change the subject, mid-paragraph as well. Just so you know. I hope this doesn't distract you too much. Back to the group. I started attending the group last Thursday. So I don't have a lot to report so far. I did learn a little bit though. Such as I can control my moods to a certain degree. Which is of a great help, in my personal relationships. I live with My Soul-mate Paul. We get along really Great, with the one exception of my mood swings. They are really hard for him to understand. He tries so hard though. I give him a lot of credit. He understands more than anyone else in my life ever has.
I have much to change. I need to change my attitude, my outlook on life. I am selfish and oblivious to those around me. I think only of myself and my immediate needs. I need to broaden my horizon a bit. See other people's point of view. I need to realize that the world does not in fact revolve around me. *sigh* I live in my own little world most of the time. It is time for me to join the real world. To grow up a little bit. I am going to have a hard time doing that. I have lived in my safe cocoon for so long. Protected from the outside world. Tucked away where I couldn't be hurt anymore. SO I will need a lot of support doing this. I have a wonderful doctor. I meet with my new counselor on the 8th. I hear that she is really good. I hope that she has worked with childhood incest and domestic violence cases and Rape survivors before. I am sure she has. Most counselors have. I do not use the word therapist. When it is dissected it becomes "the rapist". So I use the word counselor. I have laid enough ground work for my first entry. I will write more as time goes by.
Again welcome to all who venture here.
Love and light,